I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
