Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
