You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
