i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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