She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
