My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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