A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
