I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
