i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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