Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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