I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
