I wish I could teleport
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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