The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
God gave him joint rollers for hands
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
