Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
