Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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