Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
