Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
