what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
