I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize