When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
