I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
