Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
