I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
She bit a glass in half.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
