Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
