You don't have asthma, your pregnant
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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