I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
