I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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