She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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