Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
My dick has a subreddit
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
