i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
