Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
