Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
foreskin is a definite game changer
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
