so that wasnt chicken after all
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
