My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
