I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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