I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
