If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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