Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
