If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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