so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
