he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
