On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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