I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
