I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
