I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
