I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Randomize
