I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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