All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
