So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
