There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I think I died a long time ago.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
