weddingsv make me drug and hornr
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize