I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
