All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
