He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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